The Stories That Keep Us Small
How I let mindset cap my potential—and what it taught me about the power of coaching
The Vision That Drove Me
I fell in love with the law in a classroom, captivated by the elegant complexity of constitutional principles and the intellectual beauty of legal theory. When I started thinking about running for judge, it wasn’t just career ambition—it was a calling. I had a vision so clear it kept me awake at night: myself on the bench, thoughtful and fair, someone who could cut through legal complexity to find truth and serve justice at its highest level.
I was qualified. I had the legal background, the community connections, the policy knowledge. I hired a professional campaign consultant, built a solid team, and knew the mechanics of running a competitive race.
But between me and my full potential stood a story I kept telling myself. And that story, I now realize, cost me votes.
The Mindset That Held Me Back
“I’m not a politician.”
I said it with such conviction, like it made me noble. Like it proved my integrity. In my mind, I genuinely saw judges and politicians as fundamentally different creatures, and I believed they couldn’t exist within the same person. Judges needed to be thoughtful, principled, removed from the political fray. Politicians needed to be charismatic, willing to make promises, comfortable with the game of winning votes.
This created an impossible paradox: the people who would make the best judges often won’t run because they’re not natural politicians. And the people who are natural politicians? In many cases, they shouldn’t be judges.
Here’s what I couldn’t see then: That story wasn’t protecting my integrity. It was capping my impact.
Every time I said, “I’m not a politician,” I was really saying “I’m not willing to fully embrace what is needed to serve the vision I’m fighting for.”
How Mindset Can Shape Performance
When you hold a limiting mindset about yourself, it doesn’t just change how you think—it changes how you show up, even when you’re doing everything else right. It leaks into every gesture, every word, every moment of connection.
I showed up professionally. I attended events, met with constituents, and participated in debates. My campaign consultant had me well-prepared with talking points, policy positions, and a solid ground game.
But I wasn’t showing up fully.
There was always this internal tension, this invisible resistance to fully embracing the role of candidate. I was running a technically sound campaign while leaving my best self on the sidelines.
The Missing Piece: Vision + Mindset + Strategy
Looking back, I can see exactly what was missing. I had two-thirds of what I needed:
VISION gives you direction.
MINDSET shapes your lens.
STRATEGY moves you forward.
I had VISION in abundance. I had STRATEGY mapped out in detailed plans and the qualifications, knowledge, and skills to do the job.
But I was missing the MINDSET that would have allowed me to show up as the most powerful version of myself. Instead, my mindset was anchored in limitation and fear – fear of compromising my values, fear of becoming someone I didn’t respect, fear of not being worthy of the trust people placed in me. I found myself holding back in moments that mattered, second-guessing my instincts, and not fully leaning into opportunities because part of me was protecting myself.
With a limiting mindset, vision stalls, strategy collapses, and fear takes the driver's seat.
And fear runs a terrible campaign.
What I Know Now
These days, I have a coach, and here’s what I have figured out in the years since that campaign ended.
We rarely underperform because we lack capability.
We underperform because we convince ourselves we lack capability, and then we show up in ways that prove ourselves right.
Every meaningful vision demands a version of ourselves that doesn't yet exist.
I thought the question was: “How do I pretend to be someone else long enough to win?”
But the real question was: “Who do I need to become to serve this vision I’m fighting for?”
That reframe changes everything. It's not about betraying yourself—it's about expanding yourself. Growth isn't betrayal of authenticity; it's how authenticity stretches to meet the size of our dreams.
If I had had a coach during that campaign—someone who could see past my carefully constructed defenses and challenge my limiting mindset—everything would have been different. A coach would have asked:
Is this story about politicians actually serving you, or is it protecting you from something?
What are you afraid will happen if you fully embrace this role?
How is this story showing up in your body language, your energy, your presence?
What kind of leader do you need to become to achieve your vision?
Where are you holding back, and what would it look like to lean in?
A coach would have helped me see that I could become a politician I was proud of—someone with integrity who embodied all the values I believed in.
The Ongoing Nature of This Work
A limiting mindset doesn’t just go away, and it can show up in so many other parts of our lives. It will show up every time we reach for something that matters, every time we step into a bigger version of ourselves. It will leak into everything we do and say.
Even now, even with my own coach, those voices are still there. The difference is that now I have someone helping me identify those moments when I’m getting in my own way, someone asking the questions I can’t ask myself because I’m too close to see clearly, and someone challenging me to stop settling for less than what I’m capable of.
The persistence of a limiting mindset isn’t a character flaw—it’s the human condition. We all have blind spots. We all fall back into these traps in every area of our lives. And that’s exactly why we need outside perspective to help us access our full potential.
Your Moment of Choice
So let me ask you something, and I want you to be honest—not with me, but with yourself.
What vision calls to you in the quiet moments? What dream won’t leave you alone no matter how much you try to talk yourself out of it?
And what story are you telling yourself about why you can’t have it? What limiting mindset has taken up residence in your head and is making all your important decisions for you?
Because I'm willing to bet that story is just as much of an illusion as mine was. I'm willing to bet you're protecting yourself from disappointment by guaranteeing it. I'm willing to bet you're choosing the safety of staying small over the risk of becoming who you're meant to be.
Are you ready to challenge your mindset and see what you’re truly capable of?”
